Fiona's dead! (Maybe). (Probably not). (Come on, DEFINITELY not). Okay, Fiona is allegedly dead, which means seven things, and they're all wonders. Who'll be the next Supreme? At this point I'm saying Myrtle.
It was a fun week - each of the Robicheaux's students discovers a new power, Cordelia regains her Sight, Delphine attempts some revisionist history, Queenie strikes her own deal with Papa Legba that sends Marie and Delphine into the LaLaurie attic for eternity, and, most thrillingly, the witches put aside their differences for ten minutes and collectively murder the Axeman. As much as I love Madison and Myrtle's acid-tinged put-downs, Coven is at its strongest when the ladies work together.
Fiona
C
Fiona underestimates her lover, and it’s a big ole whoopsie. Of all the ways to go, I wouldn't have pinned her with "axes to the head from a ghost," but I don't make the rules. But! It was probably all a ruse anyway! So whatevs!
Delphine
F Unable to accept her historical (and deserved) designation as a murderer, D. La takes over the LaLaurie house tour and extols the hostessing prowess of its former mistress, denying that she ever tortured "domestics" in the attic. But she later admits to Queenie that she'll never apologize - because she isn't sorry, and no amount of Martin Luther King recordings will change it. It's fitting that the attic becomes her eternal hell. Delphine's push and pull between pride and shame has been the most interesting thing on the show. Even in hell, she weeps at seeing her family caged and tortured – conveniently forgetting that in life, she was A-OK with locking them up herself.
Queenie & Marie
B & C Remember when Queenie turned on Delphine? They’d struck up a tentative friendship until Delphine confessed that she’d killed a baby, and that was Queenie’s last straw. Marie’s killed far more babies than Delphine, so it seems appropriate that Queenie turned on her as well. Or maybe this is just what I’m telling myself, because otherwise, I have no idea why Queenie would so happily destroy Marie. Even if it’s the only way to get Delphine permanently off this earth, Queenie and Marie were on good terms. In any case, Queenie learns how to get to hell and back, AND manipulates Papa Legba to get what she wants without even offering her soul. She’s learning!
Kyle & Zoe
B & C In the grand tradition of AHS: Coven, Zoe’s absence from the house lasts under one episode. It occurred to me that rather than returning to New Orleans, she should have just summoned the rest of the crew to Florida, where the swamp mud is plentiful and murder is basically legal, but maybe next season. Kyle, unable to control his frat boy instincts, kills a bum for yelling at them, and Zoe discovers her gift for reanimation – and a conviction that she’s the next Supreme. Listen to Myrtle, Zoe! Even if you are the Supreme, just enjoy the power from afar!
Misty
A
Misty kicked the SHIT out of Madison. Do NOT screw with a swamp witch.
"Go To Hell"
A-Next week - season finale and The Seven Wonders. Prepare yourself bitches witches.
Extra Credit
- "You're just like Halston, when he sold his brand to JC Penney."
- Axeman picks the WRONG HOUSE to attack, and it's high-larious. The ladies have bigger fish to fry.
- Col. Broyles/Lt. Daniels is so awesome as Papa Legba, and it’s fun to see Lance Reddick play something besides a stoic cop.
- Both of the extra sequences - the explanation of the Seven Wonders and Cordelia's vision of Fiona's massacre - were fantastic.
Demerits
- Who carries around a paper printout of their boarding pass two days before their flight?
- This episode had lots of good stuff, but also lots of stretched-out boring bits, which you could say of the season as a whole.
