“Don’t let go!” – Noah
Dear God, this show is just killing off people like it’s no one’s business.
RIP, Noah. Your death was possibly the grossest and most traumatic thing I’ve ever seen.
Rather than developing their side characters slowly throughout the season, The Walking Dead has decided to lump them all into one episode to cut down on wasted time. Glenn has been given the unfortunate job of babysitter, keeping track of all the characters we couldn’t give a shit about.
Noah
"This is the beginning."- Noah
I wish I could put more in this obituary section, but as lovable as Noah was, his death just didn't do much for the story. Not yet, anyway. I did love the morbid irony behind Noah looking towards the future and building a life in Alexandria all for it to end a few hours later. The second you start thinking long-term, you're a goner.
Noah's death might be reason for Rick to place one of his people in charge of runs, which would give even more power to his little coup. And probably sound some warning bells with Deanna. Or it might cause some conflict with the guy that got him killed, with Glenn wanting him dead, but Alexandria has a 'no kill' policy. We'll have to wait and see.
Jessie
Jessie continues to suffer from Pointless Love Interest Syndrome, existing only to give Rick a will-they-won’t-they plot. It isn't that I’m not glad he’s around to solve the mystery of who destroyed her owl sculpture, I know how important that mission is. I just worry that it might be distracting us from other super cool stuff like zombies and hostile takeovers and characters we actually like. Owl sculptures though... they should totally take precedence.
Don’t worry, folks, Jessie comes complete with a drunk, abusive, asshole of a husband so you’ll feel extra good about her getting with Rick. I swear, it’s like a Lifetime movie dropped right into my favorite show, and I’m not a fan.
Tara
Carol
Joking aside, I love this character development for Carol. After Sophia and Lizzie and Mikah, it makes sense that she would push any and all children away. She doesn’t want to become another substitute mother to a dead child. Despite all her efforts though, Carol gets attached when Sam hints that his father is abusing the family.
And then she goes WAY overboard. A guy that hits his wife and kids needs to be stopped, sure. But rushing straight towards "Rick, you totally need to murder this dude," is a little hasty. Am I right?
Eugene
“You all know that I’m not combat ready. Or for that matter, combat inclined.” - Eugene
I have had it up to HERE with Eugene. He is weak, cowardly, and pathetic. He can’t kill a single walker, how in the HELL has he survived this long? Awesome characters like Tyreese and Beth and Noah were mercilessly killed off, but this guy gets to stick around? Screw this.
Doucheface
Abraham
Abraham takes charge of a group of extras we’ve never seen before, collecting materials for the wall and saving fallen damsels. Snooze.
Spend
Noah stole our hearts when he befriended Beth, and we mourned with him over his lost family. The audience has had over a year to establish an emotional connection with Tara, Eugene, Abraham, and Rosita, and we've got nada, zilch, nothing. The Walking Dead is known for killing off main characters, but at this point it’s getting ridiculous. They need to either give us some reason to like these boring side characters, or they need to stop killing the good ones.
Demerits
- Maggie is what? Interning?
- Yes, pounding techno music is definitely a good idea. How have these idiots survived so long?
- Seriously, Jessie has not interacted with ONE other character besides Rick. What even?
- Is it just me or is Daryl's new bike not as cool?
- Gabriel’s religious mumbo jumbo warning would have been more believable if there hadn’t been so much… religious mumbo jumbo.
Extra Credit
- Good for Deanna, finally starting to suspect that Rick’s group might be taking hold of a little too much power.
- The turnstile of death was an AWESOME dilemma.