Third Member.

Garfunkel and Oates celebrated their 5th bandaversary by exchanging gifts – finger puppets and a purse with a wine spout – and then exchanging them back, because that’s how our girls roll.

 

But their bandaversary was rudely interrupted by a woman whose presence has never before been hinted at: Cornish aka Jazzy Jeff aka Jamie. Apparently, she used to be the melodica-playing third member of Garfunkel and Oates and Jazzy Jeff. I’ve never heard of a melodica and I’ve never heard of G&O&JJ. Either one of these could have led to comedic gold, but both the melodica and G&O&JJ proved to be rather annoying and neither of them fit well in the band. 

 

Thankfully, the episode gave us weed card, a catchy little tune about medical marijuana that is sure to make you smile even if you’re totally sober and, like Kate, too healthy for a weed card.

 

 

Riki’s laundry list of ailments earns her a quick weed card which she puts to good use, resulting in the most ridiculous girl fight in history. She does an adorable Elliot impression in the ET section of the weed card video. And she brings a pot cookie as a peace offering. How could Cornish be so mean to her? Riki brings the awesome to compliment Kate's adorableness, and that makes them a great team (of two).

 

Kate! How cute was she at the doctor’s office? The first ever weed card denial. Only Kate would admit that she’s not sick enough for a weed card. And that makes her…you guessed it…adorable. Plus, she took it in stride when the doctor suggested that her parents should have named her “Sharon Micucci.” Sidenote: I wonder how many Micucci jokes on this show came from the childhood of the real Kate? Sure, TV Kate is a little slow, but she's pretty priceless when baked, and she actually stands up to Cornish, which for her is a rare win.

 

Obnoxious and non-threatening villains who spout idle threats just don’t do it for me. Cornish might’ve been a cool antagonist if we’d heard about her before. But she comes out of nowhere, engages in a whole lot of juvenile behavior, proves herself to be an idiot, and goes snobbishly along on her on not-so-merry way. She’s a Hollywood cliché that doesn’t pose a real threat to G&O which makes her a bit of a caricature and a sad excuse for a villain. She gets a couple bonus points for playing the melodica, but beyond that, her redeeming qualities are as nonexistent as Garfunkel and Oates and Jazzy Jeff.

 

He gets the plus because he’s Weird Al and because he made fun of the band’s name. But beyond that, where was his role? You can’t dangle Kate and Riki’s idol in front of them and throw him off with an angry one liner about their band’s name! Where was their redemption in his eyes? Where was what could have been an amazing trio? Where was the moment when they steal him from Cornish and really defeat her? There is so much Weird Al could have done in this episode, but so very little he actually did. He just might be the most underused guest star so far.

 

This episode's best quality is the ET sequence in the weed card video. There's something charming about seeing Kate all blanket-wrapped in that basket. Beyond that, there's not much else to say about "Third Member" except that it's about as ill-fitted to the rest of the season as Jazzy Jeff is to Garfunkel and Oates. Maybe test makers can use that analogy on an SAT someday and give this episode some much needed relevance.