Veronica Mars came into my life at a time when I was both consistently persnickety and desperate for astrological puns. I was looking for someone to idolize, and not someone lame like “my parents” or “the President”, or “Gandhi”. When my friend told me about a show (read: forced me to watch) that starred a female character who actually undergoes a complex and moving character arc and can quip with the best of them, I was immediately intrigued. Veronica Mars is easily one of the brightest, snarkiest characters in television. She epitomizes the fantasy of every lame nerd (read: me) who wished they could exact revenge on their enemies in the surgically precise way Veronica could, all while spitting out scathing one-liners and making out with Max Greenfield.
Veronica left in her wake the inspiration for numerous rough-edged softies (cookie covered marshmallows, if you will). In honor of her recent cinematic resurrection, I’ve traced her lineage through the last seven years to present day.
Let’s get to it, Marshmallows. Don’t forget to bring Backup.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine's Detective Rosa Diaz
Rosa Diaz may have only been around for one season, but she's already made an indelible mark in the Nine-Nine. Literally. She has destroyed countless bits of machinery in fits of rage. While Veronica is a bit savvier with the technological aspect of the job, both characters are sharp detectives who demand fear and respect from those who work with them/employ them. Given their unorthodox methods of solving cases, it makes sense. Some of the best episodes are ones where these women are either angered or annoyed; it's like watching a levee break. They will say exactly what’s on their mind no matter how harsh, so long as they think it’s deserved. That’s probably their main shared trait; Diaz and Mars love taking down the bad guy (and I love watching them do it).
The Mindy Project’s Dr. Mindy Lahiri
For one, I would 100% steal both of their wardrobes. Let’s be honest, these ladies are some snappy dressers. I actually don’t even understand how they look so fabulous all the time (I mean, it’s called a network budget and a costume designer, but let’s suspend our disbelief for a second). On top of their seriously good looks, both place a heavy importance on intelligence, going so far as to choose careers that require brains in spades (Brains in Spades, great band name, calling it... #DIBS). Not to mention both women have a wicked sharp sense of humor and a quick tongue to match.
30 Rock’s Jack Donaghy
While Veronica may not share Jack’s “rich-get-richer” mentality, they certainly share an inherent business mind and an ability to play people to their advantage (probably why they’ve both been shown wrecking opponents in poker on their respective shows). But the most obvious connection between the two is their slight G-d complex; in Jack’s case, it goes so far as to have him cast himself as G-d in a sitcom. For Veronica, it shows itself in her stagnant belief that she is eternally beyond the law, and can dole out karma and revenge by whatever means necessary. Including, but not limited to, stealing and destroying police evidence, hacking into and falsifying records and nearly cubing the car of a girl who slept with her boyfriend. Man, when I say them all in a sentence, she sounds kind of nuts. But she totally isn't (roll with it).
Parks and Recreation’s Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope is a tiny, blonde, unstoppable powerhouse who seems to have difficulty understanding the word ‘no’. You could draw a line straight from that apple to Veronica’s metaphorical family tree. When Keith tells Veronica to lay off a case, he immediately follows it up with a directive to bring Backup for when she inevitably checks out a lead. Both women are beacons of feminist light (or in Leslie’s case, the blinding white-hot fire of the sun) prevailing in a male-dominated work-place. While Leslie is a like a sanded down version of our hard-edged teen cynic, both women share the same heart. There is a vast depth to their love and loyalty, and once it’s earned it’s very difficult to lose. Having either one of these bulldozers in your corner is worth their weight in gold. Actually, they really are very tiny, so let’s just say it is worth a LOT of gold. Like, a metric ton or something.
Community’s Jeff Winger
First and foremost, let’s be real; Veronica and Winger are undeniably sexy. We know it, the inhabitants of Greendale and Neptune know it, and THEY know it. Neither has any qualms using their looks to get what they want, be it a better grade or a lead on a case. Both suffer crippling trust issues that they mask with their boundless proclivity for sarcasm, but despite their cynical nature, are inherently prone toward helping people. Of course, that doesn’t improve their low tolerance for idiocy. All I want in the world is to one day see these two swap insults in a rap battle; but knowing them, it would probably end in long, meaningful stares and a hot make-out session. (Not objecting to that).
What do ya think, Mars Bars? Who did I miss? (No one, I'm brilliant).