Fired Up.

“What do you call a lunatic who’s only got one case and no hobbies? You’re worst nightmare.”–Nick

Jess's crazy sister might be out of the picture for now, but Hurricane Abby left quite the indelible mark on Schmidt. That's mainly due to the fact that he sublet his apartment in order to pay for the empty store front he bought for her. So now, he's crashing at the loft again and, thanks to Nick's bright idea, uses the store as storage for all of his stuff. I'm sure you can imagine what happened next. No you can't, because it was a completely ridiculous plot line. A guy came in thinking it was a real store, tried to shop there, crashed into something, broke his arm, and threatened a law suit. I know, a storyline about Nick and Schmidt running a fake store with Winston at the piano would have been much more entertaining.

Meanwhile, Jess gets Coach a job coaching volleyball at her elementary school. She becomes Vice Principal at his urging, only to fire and then re-hire Coach Coach. Oh, and Cece accepts a date with an odd looking underage Australian.

Jess

B+

“I am young, I am energetic, and I think it’s about time you take advantage of me!”–Jess to her boss

Jess seemed super pathetic in this episode -- from not realizing that she could ask for a promotion instead of toiling away hoping to be noticed by her boss to getting nailed in the head not once, but twice, by a volleyball. I appreciated her desire to help Coach out, but somehow her good deeds always come off as being meddlesome.

Nick

A-

“What’s the plan?”–Schmidt
“Oh I’m not telling you, you’re going to get too mad.”–Nick

I've always wondered why Nick never actually became a lawyer. Turns out, it's because he's terrible at it. I mean, he did get his client out of having to pay any money, but he did it in a rather unorthodox way by removing the screws from his own chair during the deposition and using his own threat of a lawsuit against the plaintiff's lawyers. Very clever. Shady as hell, but very clever. He seemed to get super into playing lawyer though, which makes me wonder if he really does want more out of life than just being a bartender. Then again, maybe he just wants to carry around a briefcase full of crackers...

Schmidt

B

“Access to premium legal counsel should be every Jew’s birthright.” –Schmidt

Schmidt's coming off as a bit of a sad sack these days. Maybe it was Abby leaving him or maybe it was the fact that she conned him into blowing all his money on a store front for her. I was shocked at how willing he was to take defeat in the deposition -- it was almost like he and Nick switched places with Nick coming up with the outlandish plan and Schmidt following along. The biggest perplexing moment of all though was why he was so lah dee dah about Cece saying yes to a date with that child! Why isn't he trying to win her back?

Winston

A

“Courtroom Brown? Damn, I wish that was my nickname.” –Winston

All rise for the honorable Courtroom Brown. How is it that Winston continues to be the most random character but he is consistently the funniest? All of the wacky stuff that he says and does just totally works even though it has no reason to. I loved his hotshot lawyer bit and died when he handed out a baseball card as his business card. I'd say the firm of Cooper, Bishop, and Ferguson could give Lockhart/Gardner or Florrick/Agos a run for their money.

Coach

A

“I don’t like kids. I don’t like teaching. I just like pay checks.” –Coach

It was so refreshing to finally see a character on this show be successful at something. It feels like everyday these guys are pretty much failing miserably at life, even though they're all pretty and live in a huge, gorgeous loft. Coach really came to life as the arbitrarily angry elementary school volleyball coach and he even lent his motivational skills to Jess to help her get her promotion (even though should wouldn't let him dump Coachade all over her in celebration). I hope he stays Coach Coach for quite some time.

Cece

B-Cece's still bartending at Nick's old bar (does he even work there anymore?) and had a really awkward and unfunny encounter with her weird boss and an underage Australian kid who I think was supposed to be cute but totally wasn't. It was strange all around.

"Fired Up"

B+It worries me how 'meh' I'm starting to feel about this show. I kind of hate it when people get all down on a show and say it's not as good as it used to be because television shows are episodic for a reason -- there are ups and downs. But guys, this show is so not as good as it used to be. What is happening? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I did love lawyer Nick coming home to a passed out from exhaustion Jess with her reading lamp still blazing from her head and declaring them a power couple.

Extra Credit

• “Walk with dignity, you giant toddler!” –Schmidt
• “I’m not taking advice from you, you pronounce the ‘g’ in lasagna.”–Schmidt
• Winston’s perfectly timed dramatic piano chord when the guy breaks his arm
• “You don’t forget how to be a lawyer, it’s like riding a bike.”–Nick…who forgot how to ride a bike

Demerits

• Cece's arbitrary story line
• Jess and Coach's weird crying scene