Christmas.

“Psychologists are just people who weren’t smart enough to be psychics.”

Um, Brooklyn 99, are you kidding me? Christmas episode right after the Thanksgiving ep!? Are you trying to make me obsessed with you, because it’s working. B99 is quickly becoming the best show on TV to tackle holidays. Here’s hoping next week is New Year’s Eve (that’s got to be a big night for cops, right?) followed promptly by Valentine’s Day and then St. Patty’s day and then Arbor Day, obvi. #AllTheHolidays Who doesn’t want an Arbor Day themed cop-medy -- I know, I do. Here’s what I like about B99 though is even though it’s a Christmas theme it has legit nothing to do with Christmas, it just uses Christmas-y gags (fighting Santas) to perfection. Well done, this grading is going to be easier than re-gifting that crappy scarf my coworker gave me for Secret Santa this year.

Det. Jake Peralta & Captain Holt & Det. Charles Boyle 

A, A & A

In order to protect Captain Holt from a death threat, Jake and Charles stepped up to protect him... and oh how they protected him. First, Jake dragged him to a safe house and pulled the oldest cop trick (sometimes upset girlfriend trick) in the book: handcuffing yourself to someone and throwing away the key. Things got better when Charles arrived and slapped another set of cuffs on Holt, making him the center-pede of an amazing Human-centipede. Of course they’re connected by handcuffs, not by butts and mouths. This episode really allowed all three of these characters to be their best selves. Especially when Charles took a bullet, because, honestly, he’s the only one who would take a bullet for anyone else in B99.

Det. Amy Santiago & Gina 

A & A

“Elfie Selfie”

Straightlaced Amy and whacko Gina are perfect together. I highly suggest that Gina is promoted to Detective (that’s totally possible right?) and they become partners. Maybe even have a spin-off in Miami? Miami-99 needs to happen.

Det. Rosa Diaz

 B+In the same vein as Amy and Gina, I wouldn’t hate seeing Rosa and Hitchcock have a spin-off. Perhaps it could be called Senior Tickle and his Nuevo Fingers?

Sarge. Terry Jeffords

 BKind of tired of seeing Terry cry but never tired of seeing Terry draw, so those two things cancelled each other out this week.

"Christmas"

 A-Kudos to yet another excellent Holiday themed episode. You know just what I like and that’s something I like about YOU, Brooklyn-99. Plus, every single character was completely true to themselves and hilarious from the onset, not to mention I got to make a ton of Human Centipede references. Yay!

Demerits

• Terrifying photoshop lips on Rosa. Can’t un-see that sickness.
• More Terry being so scared of everything. Get over it!

Extra Credit

• Failed Human-centipede wave only to be paid off later with a Jake/Holt wave!
• That time Jake told Holt to “search pigs and jet skis.”
• When Jake and Holt played Wii Tennis, a subtle way to play up their relationship.