Total Eclipse of the Heart.

"On the contrary, brother. I'm better like this." - Damon

Turn around...

Every now and then you get a little bit evil when your girlfriend's not around.

Turn around...

Every now and then you steal your doppelganger's body and try to hook back up with your ex.

Turn around...

Every now and then an Evil Doctor injects with you a serum that will make you eat friends.

Turn around...

Every now and then you try to save your brother from disregarding four years of character growth.

Turn around, Matty Blue Eyes...

Every now and then I fall apppppaarrrtt.

I'm so sorry, everyone. I couldn't help myself.

Katherine

A Diary mention! Drink! Katherine's on a mission to win back Stefan's heart, and she's not holding anything back.

She's willing to sacrifice Matt for sympathy points, potentially vomit in Jeremy's mouth for believability points, and she's fully prepared to go Bad Girl's Club on Caroline's face should she try and start up another love triangle.

Like I said last week, watching Katherine pretend to be Elena is one of the most entertaining things this show has ever done. Her complete lack of fucks for the wellbeing of everyone that isn't Stefan (or Nadia, to an extent) is brilliant. Though, I have a feeling that we're going to get one of those The Family Man-type scenarios where she's going to slowly begin to fall in love with how awesome Elena's friends are and then be devastated when Elena, like, wants them back.

Stefan

A Like Liam and Noel Gallagher, Cain and Abel, or the Wright Brothers (I'm guessing), Stefan and Damon have a truly complicated brotherly relationship. Between trading off decades of murderous rampage and passing Petrova Doppelgangers back and forth like they're bong hits, Stefan and Damon have spent a lifetime trying to fix each other. It's no surprise that Stefan would want to hold on to the man Damon had become over the last few seasons, but he's gotta know from experience that threatening Enzo and making puppy dog eyes at his brother isn't going to be enough. It will be interesting to see how Stefan reacts after figuring out his brother is an Augustine Killing Machine. I bet there will be brooding.

Also, if the writers massacre Stefan's character by A) having him get back together with "Elena" so quickly and B) having him hook up with his only friend, Caroline, for the sake of drama I will burn Utica to the ground.

Damon

B+

"I'm gonna go ahead and say Karma. Karma is happening to me."

I'm not sure I buy that four years of Damon's development can be shredded like a horse drawing because he "changed for Elena", but I've gotta admit that I like where this is is going. Damon is more entertaining to me as a snarky, murderous dick, and I like the idea of him being a cannibalistic vampire. It gives him something to do besides whine about Elena and gives the show itself a Big Bad we can actually care about, and raises the stakes a little bit, and that's A-OK by me.

Enzo

C You're cute and all, but I can't understand a word that comes out of your mouth, Mumbles McBritish.

Matty Blue Eyes

A Look at you, figuring out Katherine and Nadia's secret! Turns out, you don't have to be supernatural when you can just be plain old super. Although, if you were supernatural it wouldn't be as easy for Nadia to kidnap you and threaten your life, but you're probably gonna bone her again anyway so who cares, amiright?

Bonnie

A Told you you'd be back to unwillingly help out with a situation that has nothing to do with you.