Wow, two people really did die. When I saw the title of the episode, I thought it was going to be a figurative or a flashback thing. Having to prepare for two dear characters to die is a horrible thing to do, Parks writers. Who do you think you are, children's book author J.K. Rowling?!
Leslie and Ben announce they are splitting their time before Pawnee and D.C., (something that seems like it didn't take very much time to discuss between the two of them, even though, you know, they have three kids). Donna and Joe announce they are moving to Seattle, April and Andy are already leaving and Jerry is retiring. The gang is scattering. We saw this coming, right? It's going to be as satisfying as the end of Friends, right? How beautiful is Ann and Chris' child going to be?
Two people did die — Ron's faithful barber Salvatore and the mayor who is...oh my gosh...BILL MURRAY? I'm positive that man just waits around until the perfect moment to jump out and surprise people.
The episode isn't all bad — ageless prince Paul Rudd graces us with his presence as the spoiled Bobby Newport before heading off to space one final time. The Saperstein family is back and terrible in full force. Tom returns from The Thing with The Girl! Woo!
Leslie & Tom
"If you can't train 200 white doves in the next four hours to spell out 'Lucy, will you marry me?' then you have no business calling yourself a pet store." - Leslie
Leslie (Lesle-gally Blonde) and Tom are extravagant to say the least. When Tom approaches a life event that would actually require such extravagance — his engagement — the duo sets off to make it the best one ever. They film an extensive Bond-esque movie for Lucy, destroying a jewelry store in the process, but Tom realizes that's not what Lucy would want. Which is weird, because I thought the whole point of this moving so fast is because Lucy is exactly like Tom. What was Aziz Ansari doing that kept him out of so many episodes??? Please tell me he's dropping a surprise movie like Drake dropped that surprise album last week. He would.
Tom has a breakdown after Leslie declares that she's cool, and it ultimately ends up in the Snakehole Lounge. Sadly, this time most of the gang is sober, which is lame. Alcohol brings out the best in everyone. As does Jean Ralphio, whose appearance in the episode made me audibly yell. It was mildly disappointing, aside from him hitting on Leslie and her responding "Why are you like this?" which is what I'm going to start saying to suitors from this point on.
Tom's proposal is sweet and sincere. I love sincere Tom how I love emotional Ron, who also appears in this episode.
Ron & Donna
April, Ben & Jerry
"I’ve already been to space. I was the second person to walk on the moon. Buzz Aldrin, nice to meet you." - April
"That's the guy from Toy Story!" - Bobby
April and Ben together are like father and daughter. She misbehaves, he scolds her, they banter and then you love them. Their task together is to find a interim mayor.
Mayor Bill Murray is dead and no one wants to take his job. Not Bobby Newport, not Dr. Saperstein, and no other minor characters. Their hunt brings them to say goodbye to a lot of influential personalities in the series, which seemed a bit forced because Ben should have just taken the job in the first place in order to put his horrible Ice Town past behind him. But Ben doesn't take the job. He gives it to someone who could never have been foreseen — Jerry.
That's right. Jerry wins. Jerry gets to be interim mayor. Jerry gets carried through the park by a band of men and takes off in a hot air balloon with fireworks going off in the distance. Of course, he floats away before he can make his acceptance speech. Mayor or not, he's still Jerry. Or Gary. I think he's Gary, now. Who knows. Who cares.
Two Funerals
My original draft of this paragraph was just "It's NOT ending" 34 times in a row. But it's so ending. Everyone is growing up. Everyone is with who they are supposed to be with. Everyone is going where they are supposed to go. We are just a couple minor obstacles and major monologues away from no new episodes. How will everyone say goodbye? How will I say goodbye? Spoiler: I will not. Not without claw marks all over it, anyway.
Hopes for the finale
I hate getting my hopes up for the finale of shows because it just leads to unnecessary disappointment, but I can't resist. Here's what I want from the last episode of this most dearly-loved show:
- A farewell to Lil Sebastian, again
- Chris, Ann and their beautiful child
- Joe Biden appearance
- Jean Ralphio saying something I can make my Twitter bio
- A Mouse Rat performance
- Ben and Leslie permanently moving to D.C.
- Ben winning the congressional seat
- The names of the triplets
- Pawneeans being disgusting one final time
- People eating waffles
Extra Credit
- "Someone set a fire in your car because you took to long and I got bored. Money please!" - Mona Lisa
- Talk of the "high stakes world of banner making"
Demerits
- I really wanted more April. And where was Andy? Which blockbuster hit is he filming?