“Magic can only ever fight half your battles, remember that.”–Mikael
Before we began, a big thank you to all of you who kept me company on Twitter last night, while we were watching the episode (Follow me @TheEvaline)!
Speaking of Twitter, I think this is a good time to break down the pre-show tweets that were tweeted by various Officials of The Originals Party.
First we’ve got this one from @cworiginals:
Which, okay, I can get on board with that, because they did toss around the word, “war” a lot throughout the course of the episode. But I do have to say, I’m getting a strange feeling of déjà vu. Haven’t we done this concept before? At least three different times last season? I swear, it’s always the same: somebody instigates a fight against Elijah and Klaus, wooden clunkers masquerading as witty one-liners are fired from all direction, then somebody will threaten to spill blood and kill lots of people. Everyone starts to prepare for “war,” which, in The Originals version of The Quarter, just means people scrambling around, trying to fit in recruiting as many magical creatures they can find in between dealing with the woes of their love life. Finally, the big day comes, and after two scenes of killing off extras, and destroying sets, it’s over and they’re on to the next big "war". It’s not exactly Game of Thrones, is it?
Then, comes these two tweets. First @cw_network tweets this:
Not long after that Joseph Morgan (@JosephMorgan), tweets this:
In retrospect, I need to say, "Just chill out, boys, lets not get too excited!" The fight lasted a total of 4 minutes and it wasn’t even that good of a fight.
Then came this tweet:
Which, I don’t even know what that’s supposed to be referring to, so let's just move on.
But, the most puzzling of all the tweets was this one, because, really…just…WHAT???
Did I miss something? Because I totally didn’t see anyone teaching anyone about anything! Love and compassion? Nope. Fighting and murder? Everyone on the show have already proven themselves to be perfectly apt at those and nothing new was taught. Are we sure they aired the right episode last night?
Finally, before we move on to the grades for the week, I’ll leave off with this little tweet:
WARNING: it was genetically designed to break your heart.
…..
Cami & Klaus
Cami’s back, and her way of saying “hello” was by treating us all to a long soliloquy of pessimistic, dire, dark and depressing thoughts about all the things that’s wrong with her city, her life and the whole damn world. Wow, she seems like a girl I really wish I could hang out with. Hers is just the bright ray of sunshine I’m missing in my life. It takes less than 5 minutes for her to start eluding to the love triangle between her, Klaus, and Marcel, but, of course, she didn’t fail to mention that she’s not exactly 100% happy about either of them, as well. Geez…
Then, there’s Klaus. Cami’s finally back, so he needed to dedicate the majority of the episode to flirting with her and waxing poetics at her. He pretends that his intention is really just to find Davina and his father, but he actually devotes very little time to doing that. He does, however, spare a moment to share with Cami his own worldly woes and then they danced a little, because just talking alone is not enough to make all the ladies in the audience swoon like teenage girls at a screening of Twilight. Finally, in the evening, he found some free time in his busy day of romancing Cami to squeeze in a trip down to the cabin where Davina was hiding out to have the fight with dad we were promised on Twitter.
Elijah A
“As a devout feminist I refuse to say you hit like a girl.” –Elijah
This just in, Elijah’s a devout feminist! Oh, what? You didn’t know that? How could you have missed it between the way he encourages women to be self-sufficient and his penchant for being attracted to strong, emotionally stable women?
Speaking of emotionally stable women, Hayley opens up her first scene of the episode by being Hayley, which is, giving Elijah an attitude about her latest grievances against him, to which he responded by straight up telling her that he just didn’t have time for her shit. If for no other reason, Elijah won his A for the night right then and there. But then he cemented his grade this week when he took off his suit jacket and gave us a totally sexy fight-training scene with his new potential love interest. I’m telling you, Elijah needs to take off his suit jacket more; it brings out this whole other side of him where he’s just cool, sexy, and totally badass.
Davina, Kol & Mikael C, C & C
Less sexy is the Karate Kid moment between Mikael and Davina, which starts with Mikael practicing his ninja skills in the yard of the cabin Davina has been hiding out at (doesn’t she have school to go to?) before offering to teach her a few moves. It was all going well until Davina hurts her ankle and calls on Kol, disguised as a totally hot guy who’s interested in sweeping Davina off her feet, to help her fix up her ankle. While doing this, Kol drops this line on Davina, “It appears someone has knocked you head over heels quite literally. And I thought I’d have that honor.” And right after face palming myself so hard it dawned on me that the propensity to utter corny lines must run in the family.
Then, of course, there’s the quick tumble in the front lawn with Klaus and Mikael, that they were trying to pass off for a proper fight. Mikael almost staked Klaus with the white oak stake, but he failed (I know, didn’t see that one coming!) and ended up getting stabbed by Klaus instead with Papa Tunde’s knife. Remember when Mikael was a big scary badass? Well, those days are over, kids, because he made the mistake of sticking around just a little too long.
Live and Let Die C
As far as an episode of The Originals goes, it’s not one of the worst ones, but still, it’s hard to imagine they’re still recycling the same plot concept after a full season. Is there no one around to tell the powers that be that maybe they should try something new? Ester, the crazy mother, was given very little to do all episode, to make way for the Cami and Klaus’ flirt session, and then there was the whole rescue the baby werewolves side plot that I cared about even less than the Josh Experimenting with Tinder plot. So, that kind of just leaves us with a whole lot of Cami and Klaus this episode, with which I could really do with less of. A "C" for an average episode.
Extra Credit
- Hayley spent most of this episode just sulking in the background in comfortable, baggy clothing like she just planned to spend the day sitting on the couch watching reruns of Lost and munching on cheeto puffs. She didn’t even bother to blow out her hair. The good thing about all this is that she stayed relatively quiet and kept her moodiness to herself. Well done, Hayley!
- Ester captures Elijah and strings him up like she’s about to torture him and then tells him she’s only doing that out of love. Gotta love Crazy Ester!
Demerits
- Finn is undercover as Cami’s therapist, and he thought it was a good idea to compliment her looks and her sexual attractiveness to men, because that’s not at all creepy coming from your shrink and totally professional.
- Cami’s all, “I’m so mad, I can’t even talk right now!” and then just keeps on talking. A lot.
- “You seem rather impatient. Are you so eager to meet your end?” –Mikael. Yup, it definitely runs in the family.
- Marcel has been sidelined for the last two episodes, we need more Marcel!
Twitter Shout Outs
Once again, thanks for all the tweets last night during our The Original live tweeting pow-wow. Here are two of my favorite comments.
From @Klarocuddles about love triangles on The Originals
And from @Camifood about the big mystery of why Klaus and Elijah are still letting Hayley and her pleasant personality live with them:
Thanks for your tweets, guys!
If you aren’t already, follow me on Twitter @TheEvaline, and send me your thoughts during the next episode of The Originals and I’ll feature a few stand out ones in my weekly recaps!