Four Walls and a Roof.

"Tainted meat!!" - Bob

Well, that got really violent…

We’re back to the action this week, and am I the only one that felt like that episode lasted maybe 12 minutes tops? Before I knew it, Chris Hardwick was introducing The Talking Dead and I was throwing things at my TV. There had to be more to that episode, right?

Not to wax poetic or anything, but I want to give a shout out to the symbolism the writers weave into the monologues of this show. As a writer myself, I just kind of feel the need to bow down to these people for creating such masterpieces. The bit of brilliance tonight was in Gareth's opening speech about the zombies inside the school. He's going on and on about the threat they pose, while the camera is panning over all the Terminites feasting on Bob's leg. Sometimes you can't even tell tell if you're supposed to be seeing humans or walkers. Gareth finishes by pressing his hand to the glass keeping the zombies trapped inside and says,"The glass is going to break sooner or later." Almost as if the metaphorical line in the sand that separates the cannibals from the walkers is paper thin and getting thinner; it's going to break sooner or later.

Father Gabriel

B-I knew he was a good guy! Well, not totally good since it sounds like he locked his parishioners out of the church and left them to get eaten. But 10 points to me for calling that last week. Besides being a total pansy, it sounds like Father Gabriel just made a really selfish decision in the heat of the moment. He should probably be stripped of his collar, but other than that, I can’t be too mad at him. Stick around, padre, I like you.

Bob

A

"Nightmares end. They shouldn't end who you are. And that is just this dead man's opinion."- Bob

Shameful truth time: I cried.

And not the usual single tear of sadness crying that goes on when you’re just a little bit upset about a character death. This was full on, tears streaming down the face, hiccups all around, can’t breathe through your nose type of crying. I fell in love with Bob during “Alone” last year, and I didn’t realize how attached I was until it starting to become clear he was really dying this episode. But he handled the whole thing like a champ, keeping a smile – okay, more like a grimace, but whatever – on his face until the end. Bob went through so many emotions so believably in the span of just 45 minutes that I wanted to give his actor a standing ovation. Or a hug.

And I’ll take another opportunity to say I FUCKING KNEW IT. Bob was bitten in the underwater zombie scuffle last week, and that’s why he went out to cry in the graveyard by himself. That’s two for two on my predictions. You know what they say: once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. If Beth ends up saving Carol and Daryl’s asses next week from her creepy lady cop friend, then I’m buying myself a crystal ball and opening a psychic business. Phoebe Halliwell ain’t got nothing on me.

Rick

B+From the moment we zoomed in on that machete with the red handle, we all pretty much knew what was going down. Rick was his typical badass self, waiting until the last moment to step out of a shadowy corner and rein down hell on those Terminites. I mean, I knew that Rick was a good shot, but blasting Gareth’s finger off in a dimly lit church during a firefight? That is some talent right there. Unfortunately, the macho showboating with Abraham irked the crap out of me, so Rick doesn’t get a great grade tonight. Fighting over a short bus? Hmmm there’s a politically incorrect joke in there somewhere.

Gareth

A

"Maybe we'll keep the baby. I'm starting to like this girl."- Gareth

Farewell, you wonderful villain you. I shall miss your creepy smiles. Frankly though, I'm kind of glad they got rid of Gareth and the cannibals so quickly. They were wonderfully sick and twisted, but the novelty would have worn off eventually, and there’s really only two ways to go with psychotic antagonists like that. You either spiral them into insanity – which was honestly already where Gareth was at when we opened the season – or you redeem them through some tragic sob story from their past. Many an interesting villain has fallen to the second option (R.I.P. Klaus Mikaelson) so I’m glad they let Gareth stay Gareth. And his awful little line about Judith just sealed the deal. Best Villain Ever.

Tara

FYour one line of the night was to contribute something so epically stupid that you almost deserve to get eaten for it. She interrupted Rick and Abraham's fight like she had some revolutionary, game-changing idea, and all it turned out to be was volunteering her services on the D.C trip. Like that would actually sway anyone’s opinion? Oh honey… I think you’re seriously overestimating your worth.

Glenn & Maggie

C- & C+WHY WOULD YOU SEPARATE FROM THE GROUP AGAIN YOU DUMB FUCKS? I swear, I just need to keep all of these kids on a leash and tie them to Rick’s belt loops.

Tyreese & Sasha

B & BThese two are possibly the most functional family relationship on the show. There’s squabbling, there’s hugging, there’s joking… there’s shanking your sister’s infected boyfriend so she doesn’t have to. That’s love, man. Tyreese has been pretty unwilling to get his hands dirty lately, but killing Bob might have given him the push he needed.

Four Walls and a Roof

A-

“This is the Lord’s house.” – Father Gabriel
“No. It’s just four walls and a roof.” – Maggie

I can understand how Father Gabriel would be pretty upset, seeing so much carnage and gore strewn out over his space of worship. But I really liked that Maggie was the one to deliver the line that gave this episode its title. Herschel was extremely religious, and we see Maggie handling a bible earlier on in the night. It was always a little ambiguous if Maggie took to her father’s faith or not, but after witnessing that kind of massacre, I think we can definitely close the book (pun intended) on that argument. God has no place in this world as far as Maggie is concerned.

I think it’s also important to note that this was the first time our group got really brutal and violent. We’ve seen standout occurrences over the seasons, sure, but never an organized, brutal execution of human beings. And never when they were on their knees begging for mercy. We never would have seen this kind of behavior in Season 2 on the farm, but it just shows how much can change over the course of a series. I knew this season was going to be dark, but now I think it’s going to be DARK DARK. And I’m more excited than ever.

Demerits

• If you weren’t going to rat Tyreese out for not killing that cannibal guy back in the cabin, then why even let him live another episode?
• I never realized how far away Atlanta is from D.C before. Anyone got any good road trip games?
• Gareth was such a baby about losing his finger. You eat people, dude. Pull it together.
• I want to know if eating “tainted meat” would really have turned those cannibals into zombies. I guess we’ll never know. *sigh*
• Maggie Greene: worst sister ever.

Extra Credit

• WE FINALLY GET TO SEE BETH’S STORY NEXT WEEK!
• Best. Cliffhanger. Ever. Who the hell came back with Daryl?!
• Michonne reunited with her sword. That almost made me as happy as the Caryl reunion.
• Sasha was wearing Bob's jacket at the end. So many feelings.