"I got movie posters in my room… Kazaam, Blue Chips, Steel. All Shaq movie posters because I think he’s a fantastic actor. I also have a Chris Mullen player poster."
Ever wanted to have a go-kart race all over your city, ignoring all traffic laws or common decency, à la Mario Cart? Well this classic gamer’s wet dream came true on last nights Workaholics, and we couldn’t have been more thrilled! After Blake discovers an ad for a free massage chair on the company snack room bulletin board it’s every bro for himself in a no-holds-barred race to get dibs on the chair.
When Anders' Volvo is decommissioned the guys' grab go-karts, which are conveniently being used across their parking lot for another companies employee appreciation day, and it is on like Donkey Kong… or Yoshi… or Mario… Anders is totally Princess Peach.
Despite the fairly weak plot line (we have officially lowered our already low standards for the show in this regard, see most of our previous posts this season) it was a fun episode and we bet it was even more fun for them to film. Fun usually equals high marks but we’re not ready to cough up any easy ‘A’s …
Blake
A- Just before the episode aired we saw the real Blake post a tweet saying this was the most fun he ever had filming the show and we can see why. First his character steals Anders car to pick up the massage chair even though he doesn’t know how to drive. Then he accidently pops the rear tiers on the parking lot safety spikes. You know those signs that say ‘WARNING do not back up severe tire damage’? Yeah, they’re there for a reason. Next was his golf course go-kart joust session with Anders, which was probably the high-light of the episode. It was strong showing for the B man and he seemed to back up his real-life tweet with make believe antics.
Adam
A The part right after the open credits when he’s describing to Alice how he wants her to give their office an appreciation day with go-karts and a cotton candy machine and he doesn’t know, maybe the Goo Goo Dolls could perform and he could sing “Iris” with them was gold but it wasn’t even his best line of the night (see quote above)! Explaining to the old man owner of the massage chair about how he’ll never fart in it, unless it’s an accident and a fart just slips out of his butt-hole, was also hilarious. The three-way conversation they have before opening credits about religion was instant classic status and Adam seemed to quarterback the whole thing. He was the champ of the evening even if (spoiler) no one ends up with the chair.
Anders
F His photoshop wizardry on the fake bulletin board add for “erect chin pills,” because you know, it sounds like erection, was funny but again he just kind of mails it in this week. No memorable lines. I’m sure the guy is funny in real life but he never gets the good bits on the show. It’s obvious to any fan that he’s the straight man in most of their jokes but you can still be funny and be the straight man. It’s just a shame Anders cannot. Off the three stooges he is easily our least favorite because of his lamness and over-all douchebag-abilty. We are being extra harsh this go 'round because of the accumulative affect of him sucking so much over the course of this season. Not even the joust scene with Blake could save him from a failing grade.
“3-On-3”
B As we’ve mentioned, the plotline was flimsy at best, especially the part where they worked in go-karts just so they can ride them around LA. It was pretty obvious from the start that whole scene was inevitable. That said it was still hilarious and the quest for the chair had all kinds of their bro-banter, which we love. Much like the title alludes, this episodes focus on just the three was really the ticket for us because that’s when they seem to be at their best. We understand more characters are needed from time to time but It’s their show so it should really be mostly about them, most of the time. Honestly if it wasn’t for Anders and he’s perpetual nack for being so boring this would have been an ‘A’ grade. Step it up, bro!
Extra Credit
- The “Friendship, power, perseverance” all hands in cheer and accompanying robot dances.
- The fact they never EVER tuck in their shirts at work anymore, their top shirt buttons are NEVER buttoned and their ties are all half askew happy hour style.
- Blake to heavy-set pizza girl, “let me get some of those cheesy bread sticks … I’ll suck your tits”
- Adam holding a go-kart driver at fake gun point with his hand
- The breadstick and marinara fake-broken-arm wound
Demerits
- It’s getting repetitive we know, but all things Anders. Dude just has not been funny.
- Go-kart plot point being a huge/obvious stretch from the start
