"I’ve been a slave to my peen man … all I can think about everyday is what time is my next cum? … I’m sick of living cum to cum. I want it gone."
Dudes, have you ever craved a little bit more man meat in your mangina sandwich? Or maybe wished you weren’t such a slave to your one-eyed monster? Either way, you don’t have to feel ashamed anymore because you’re not the only ones. Two of our favorite bro-migos have been struggling with these issues for some time and it appears both problems can be solved with one snip of the knife.
If pricks are your thang, than this was the episode of the century for you, because there was penis a plenty. Now I’m no cock connoisseur but it was a pretty fucking hilarious adventure this week despite there being puds at ever turn. I mean for the record I’m into chicks… like way into chicks and even for a show that pushes the dick-joke envelope, the boys of Workaholics out did themselves this time and here’s how …
Blake
A Coming clean about his ridiculously small dick was a big step for the B man (for the record I called it in this post), and it takes a real pal like Karl to pony up and offer up his wang to a friend in need. It wasn’t like Karl wanted it anymore, based on the quote above. We saw a new, more sensitive and vulnerable side of Blake and it was bit moving. Not like making my penis move moving but moving none-the-less. Extra points for the line about Sandra Bullock getting carpal tunnel after “ski poling” the Coen Brothers at Sundance Film Festival (that’s a simultaneous two dude jerk-off for you porno newbs out there).
Adam
A He was on point with his banter once again with classics like, “My mom’s body fucking rules”, and his diatribe about NOT supporting Karl’s dickless life decision; “when you’re born a bro, you’re a bro for life… I’m bro-life and I’m sick of you bro-choice guys!” Hysterical. Throw in a sub-plot of him trying to eat 1,000 hot dogs in one week for Anders movie and a near transgender hook-up with the cock docs assistant and you have a recipe for hilarity.
Anders
C+ In typical fashion as of late, we see him take a back seat while the other homeboys supply the laughs. Nothing too memorable from him this time but he does drive the plot when he decides to use his “Spy-focal” video camera sunglasses to fill a documentary to take to Sundance so they can all finally become famous. The bros want to shoot a porno with camera specs, POV style and than a “Super Size Me” esque documentary with Adam and hotdogs but when Blake and Karl talk about their dick-swap agenda he knows what movie must be made.
Karl
A+Highlight of the season: Karl Explaining why Blake can never wash his penis, which will soon belong to Blake. “You can’t wash my penis, it’s never been washed, it won’t respond well to soap and water, it’s very well seasoned, like a cast iron pan, if anything you just put a moist towel on it and hit it with a lot of sand.” Probably the best penis hygiene bit I have ever heard. Throw in quote of the night honors (see above) and it’s plain to see Karl stole the show this go ‘round.
“Three and a Half Men”
A+ Hands down the best episode so far this season and top-3 all-time because who doesn’t love dick jokes? Even with Anders average at best performance, we give this installment a perfect score because it was just so ridiculously entertaining and over the top that we had to re-watch it three times before writing this post. I’d be interested to see what this one looks like unedited, but I would probably close my eyes for the flesh flute close-ups.
Extra Credit
- Blake, “Karl, I can’t wait to have your dick.”
Karl’s response, “You’re gonna love it.” - Karl getting hard one last time before surgery, mumbling to himself as the hospital sheet rises, “Heidi from Home Improvement, Heidi from Home Improvement”.
- Karl saying, “dead dick walking” as he gets wheeled into surgery Top Gun music in background
- Transgender assistant to Adam, “I haven’t gotten my boobs removed yet but down stairs is new dick city… As soon as I met you I knew we’d be sucking each others dicks,” (much to Adam’s surprise)
- Adam with a mouth full of processed meat, “nobody respects the healing power of hotdogs!”
Demerits
- EVERYTHING about Anders. Dude is so bland as of late and I can’t remember the last time he made me really laugh. Chuckles are a dime a dozen broham, step it up.
