Thanksgiving III.

“I feel like how they must have felt in the first Thanksgiving – betrayed.”–Nick

Why do people always think holidays will be more fun if you stray from tradition? That is the whole point of tradition -- it's tested by time and undergone years of perfection. No, that wacky new twist on cranberry sauce you read about in a trendy food magazine will not be as good as your mom's. Nick Miller, it seems, isn't of this opinion. That's why he thought it would be a good idea to suggest an outdoor camping Thanksgiving where all food would be acquired via hunting and gathering. He didn't even bring the PIES Jess baked. What? Always bring pie.

Jess

A-

“Okay, listen up, only stuff we could find in the forest.”– Jess at the grocery store after giving up on foraging

Quirky though she may be, Jess is still the most traditional of the bunch and it's no surprise that she favored a stay-at-home Thanksgiving with everyone gathered around food that wasn't found floating in a lake over Nick's camping idea. But she went along with it because she is a good sport and always very supportive of her friends' stupid ideas. I sort of get why she ate the fish, but also, why did she have to eat this fish? And furthermore, does one start hallucinating after a single bite of bad fish? I suppose that comes with the Legionnaire's Disease territory, but it seemed to come on rather quickly. Regardless of all that ridiculousness, I loved hearing Jess soothe Nick's worries by telling him (from her hospital bed) that he's the man she wants.

Nick

B+

“It’s a bear hole. Bear falls in, other stuff falls in, we take what the bear doesn’t want. I’m from Chicago, it’s the best I can do.”–Nick

Nick's had a lot of bonehead ideas, but this one is up there. For being the laziest man alive, this was an ambitious undertaking -- it's hard to imagine Nick passing up an opportunity to drink beer, watch football, and eat food. That being said, this whole hairbrained scheme was brought on by the fact that Coach got in Nick's head about getting lost in his relationship with Jess. Whatever, Nick. You wear those cropped pink pajama pants and you wear 'em proud! His efforts to live off the land were admirable...sort of...not really actually. But it was fun to watch him try.

Schmidt

“It’s an exact replica of the hat Viggo Mortensen wore in Hidalgo.”–Schmidt

It really feels like Schmidt is becoming more and more of a caricature of himself and I'm not enjoying it. Yes, it was fun to watch him chase after his 'cowman's hat' and injure himself under a boulder in an attempt to be a better camper than Coach, but it's really just kind of sad. Schmidt in essence only works when he's being a douchebag (albeit, a loveable one) and right now, he's just kind of a sadsack. Nobody likes a sadsack douchebag. That sentence offered some strange imagery. Anyway, I hope Schmidt's honest talk with Coach about Cece helped him get some closure so he can get back to being indebted to the douche jar once again.

Winston

“Guys, I’m as much a man as anybody here, but this plan is straight up dookie. I need my sweets and I need my parade.” –Winston

Winston is the wisest of the bunch, but no one listens to him! He's full of good ideas like, oh I don't know, staying inside while eating food and watching the parade like normal people on Thanksgiving. Winston is rarely given any credit (and honestly, he hasn't been earning it lately with his freakish cat obsession and general weirdness) so it was fun to see him find solidarity with Cece as they bonded over their mutual detest for camping. Plus, you've got to admire a man who can sport knitted long johns with kittens on them...

Cece

“Hey, I’m no Eagle Scout but I know how to make a pants rope.”–Cece
“Are you going to take off your pants?”–Schmidt
“Yeah, right after I take off my bra so we can anchor the rope to a tree.”–Cece
“That’s going to happen for real?”–Schmidt

This was the most personality we've gotten out of Cece in a while. It was a delight to see her paired up with Winston for a change rather than constantly embroiled in some love triangle. Speaking of that pesky love triangle, I was particularly impressed with her for standing up to Schmidt and Coach and moving past their bullshit -- her snarky comments during the bear hole rescue scene were priceless.

Coach

“I’m over here bearing my soul to you, dude, and you’re freaking smiling in my face.”–Coach
“This is the face I make when I listen.”–Schmidt
“All your teeth show when you listen?”–Coach

Coach seems to have two different modes -- the always 'on'/baller type and the genuine/sincere/almost awkward type. I tend to favor the latter and wish we'd see more of that. We know he's going through a breakup and tends to project his issues on others (hence mocking Nick's cute as a damn button Thanksgiving evite), but he's a lot more relatable when he's being honest like he was with Schmidt about being stonewalled by Cece. I absolutely loved his impression of Cece, by the way. Spot on. He doesn't seem to want to compete with Schmidt, which I find refreshing.